Bloody Sunday

     Well, he did it this time! Tanner managed to get himself taken to the hospital. What started out to be a typical conniption fit turned into something a little more grisly. As is customary, Tanner was dragged into his room as punishment after he pitched his sister's i-pod for no good reason. Then he started head banging, which is also typical. I went about my women's work and waited out the storm. After the book throwing and head thumping stopped I checked in on him. What I saw was a kid sitting on the carpet passively turning pages of a picture book. But I did a double take because the kid was all bloody. He looked up at me, pointed to his head and then to the blood splattered on the wall. For the most part scalp wounds look worse than they really are because of the vasculature of the tissue, ie. the head bleeds like the dickens, so I didn't panic. What I saw however, was a pretty sizable laceration which I couldn't fix by ignoring it. So I got him into the tub and cleaned him up. By this time Tanner was feeling playful and just wanted to splash around as if nothing had happened to his head. I cut bath time short by telling him we were going to go for a ride in the car. Yipppee!
     Once at the emergency room Tanner was in his own private heaven because he got to watch TV while laying down on a bed (which is totally cool!). For almost three hours we flipped through channels, turned on the oxygen, turned off the lights, pushed every button in the room. It was super fun! Different people came in and out but didn't do anything to him so he thought he was King for a day. Finally at the three hour mark a bunch of people came in, wrapped him up like a burrito, held him down and put six staples in his head. It took less than five minutes. I was seriously considering swiping a staple gun so that I could do it myself the next time.
     Tanner laughed all the way home. And I again seriously fantacized about obtaining a staple gun and some iodine and some staple removers and some numbing medicine and......

just a flesh wound!

cool hospital bed




two lacerations and six staples

Flu Season

Most people agree that throwing up is nasty. But most people aren't terrified when faced with the probability. Hailey would rather be dangled off a cliff than throw up. First of all she denies what is about to happen by walking around in circles and hyperventilating. Next she tries to convince her body that it doesn't need to throw up by talking to herself, "it's okay, it's okay, it's okay." Next I hand her the traditional "throw-up" bowl, which also happens to be the spaghetti bowl, and make her carry it around with her. The bowl makes her feel worse. Then when I think she is over her bout of nausea, she bolts for the bathroom only to miss the target.
After all these years this moment is so predictable. I hear myself whispering "get closer to the toilet, get your head down there" because I know she will wait until it's too late. Eeeewww!

 

400 Buckets

When summer is over and autumn begins, the first change I notice is that the slant of the sun is all wrong. The sun is high but it's light is different. There is a coldness and a dimness. My yard takes on the look of slow decline as growth stops and death begins. Even before the signs of winter are apparent I am outside hacking down everything that I have enjoyed, the ground cover, the grasses and the ivy. Next comes the pruning of tree limbs and bushes. Ultimately I pull up the COLOR. What is left of my fertile yard is as baren as an environmentalist's idea of zero scaping. It is Ugly.

The process of maintaining a Garden of Eden during the summer is a hobby of mine which requires a great amount of time, muscle and sweat. The destruction of this Garden is even more daunting. All of which gives me joy and peace. I start my outside hobby in May and finish in October, I spend at least two hours a day in the dirt; planting, pulling, digging. During the growing season I over-fill twenty six "green" curbside garbage cans and in the dying season I fill an additional four heaping truck beds.

Now that my summer hobby is over I fall into hibernation mode which includes hot baths, sitting by a warm fire and cowering under a comforter with a book. I won't be absolutely content until the sun glows warm  again.

14 hand filled blue buckets equal one green garbage can...24 weeks times 14 buckets equals 336 hand carried buckets per growing season PLUS 56 extra for fall clean-up.... MAKES A TOTAL OF 400 hand carried buckets of yard waste. This is why I don't go to the gym in the summer. I don't have to.

 
I load up the truck when the green container is full. One truck load equals four green containers

-----UGLY-------

PRETTY 

The Twelve Years of Halloween

When the kids were still young I lovingly made their costumes myself. It was a fun project and made Halloween special for me. Really it was the only time of year I hauled out the Bernina and pretended that I knew how to use it. Now that Hailey is 14 she won't let me dress her up anymore, in fact, she won't wear anything that I think is cute. Tanner doesn't even know what Halloween is so I don't bother with him.
This year I abandoned the holiday entirely and escaped to the movie theaters as Dave served the 367 children who came to our door. So while I was at the IMAX, comfortably seated and well entertained poor Dave stood at our doorstep for 3 hours straight as the hoards of Iron Mans, Katniss', princesses and ninjas held out their sacks. I think I have found a new tradition...hope Dave doesn't mind.

-----------------HALLOWEENS OF THE PAST

--------------------1999 (skeleton and surgeon)

----------------------2000 (cave men)

-----------------------2001 (patriotic)

-----------------------2002 (ghosts)

------------------------2003 (Hawaiians)

-----------------------2004 (Dr Suess)

-----------------------2005 (mummies)

---------------------2006 (Frankenstein Monster and witch)

----------------------2007 (skeletons)

----------------------2008 (Chinese)

----------------------2009 (Cleopatra and Caesar)

------------------------2010 (Hobo)

Washington DC Opens The Mall For Dave E

Kaysville resident Dave E. made it very clear to Barack O. that the government shut down was in direct conflict with his upcoming vacation with daughter, Hailey. Appropriately, Dave E., a man not apt to put up with limitations, exerted his extraordinary mind powers towards Washington DC and demanded that the barriers come down. And this is how The Mall opened just hours before Dave and Hailey's arrival.
 The two most important people in America were able to enjoy a few days in our nation's capital without disappointment. Hailey savored the National History Museum most, while Dave's interests tended toward the art of some guy named Van-go. They both walked and biked to all the pertinent sites and only had to push down a few barriers/fences out of sheer rebellion.
 

Inadvertant Punishment

When I go school shopping for Tanner I mainly guess on the sizes because he doesn't come with me to the stores. Taking Tanner shopping with me would be like releasing a Tazmanian Devil into polite society. There would be trouble and ain't nobody got time for that! Instead I bring clothes and shoes home and we try them on in a controlled environment where he can be himself (*see characteristics of Tasmanian Devil). The other day I tried some new boots on Tanner, tied them nice and tight and then forgot about it. The next morning when I got him up for school, I pulled off his blanket and there were his feet, firmly encased in his knew clunky boots. My poor little cub slept with his shoes on and probably didn't even know it.

*interesting factoid from Wikipedia*
A TAZMANIAN DEVIL is characterized by its stocky build, pungent odor, extremely loud and disturbing speech, keen sense of smell and ferocity when feeding.It has an exceedingly strong bite for it's size. A Tazmanian devil can eat up to 40% of it's own weight in 30 minutes.SEE ALSO: Tanner E.

Need A Towel??

Bath time at the Erickson's is like going to an indoor water park except at a much, much smaller scale. After a soap scrub down Tanner is allowed to play with the "big cup". A bath without the "big cup" is like eating a meal without flavor or like taking a walk in the dark. Bathing is joyless unless a mess can be made. No big cup means No big splash. So I drape the entire bathroom with towels and let the boy have a little "pool time".

                                                video below: