Tuesday, January 26, 2016

A Little Surprise From Iceland

Last August Hailey and I drove around Iceland. We got ourselves a manual transmission type car. As you know, these weird vehicles are almost obsolete. Who would want to buy a car where you have 3 foot pedals and a knobby stick that you have to move around at the exact moment of pushing on one of the foot pedals....inconceivable! Anyhow, luckily I had learned how to drive a stick shift in my youth. But it's been decades. So when we pulled out of the rental car parking lot I made a small fool of myself first by killing the engine and then accidentally peeling out in the gravel like a madman.

Soon we were out on the two lane, nicely paved road that circles the entire country. Usually there was so much to see and so many places to stop. Occasionally there was a long expanse of nothing. And at these times I would put the pedal to the metal, you know, open up the throttle. I sometimes traveled faster than 90km (60mph), no big deal! The roads were great! and flat, and uncrowded. I needed to cover some ground. Along the road we noticed some signs in Icelandic (super long word with crazy cartoon letters) and then a picture of something that looked like a rectangle with two circles in it. Mmmm, that was weird, I said to Hailey. And on we drove.

After nine days of seeing incredible things and having a wonderful time Hailey and I returned home to Utah. Three months later I received a letter from Iceland. I thought it was going to be a thank you letter from their public relations people or a survey to see how much I loved their country. Cheerfully I opened the letter. The heading was suspicious, NOTIFICATION OF FINE. And there was a phony looking stamp on the bottom.



Oh and they wanted me to put money in their "bank account"....
AND THEN I TURNED THE PAGE!



Hey, That's ME! I'll be darned if I didn't get a photo speeding ticket!

Saturday, January 23, 2016

If I Had Half a Brain!



Ahhhh...Life uninhibited! I'm sure many people wish to live this next year free of insecurity, free of judgement and free of expectations. I think the only way for us to do that is to kill half of our brain. Mostly I think of how nice it must be for Tanner. His brain has empty parts. His brain has parts that are scarred  and underdeveloped. Yet he loves life. He can do anything he wants to do without regret. His enjoyments are so simple and require no ambition nor permission. He is truly a free human being! Can you imagine the pure pleasure of picking your nose....I can't either. It looks relaxing?


So let's say you just don't feel like wearing clothes for the rest of the day...... This is Tanner's attempt at undressing himself after I put him in his room for a "time out".  His underwear is stuck on his foot but no big deal!

And sometimes a person needs some alone time to relax and feel content. And the hum of a vacuum and the feel of the motor's heat is heavenly.

If I had half a brain I would quit paying attention to the pressures of life and listen to the white noise of radio static and the back ground monotony of CSPAN and the hum of the clothes dryer and the faint drone of classical music and the undertone of Mary Poppins intro music and the buzz of a Nintendo game... all at the same time! This is what Tanner does. Every second of every day he needs background noise to drown out the silence.
Since I have a whole brain I go quite crazy




Monday, January 11, 2016

Serious Plans



Hailey has been making a lot of important decisions lately. She is making choices that I didn't make until I was out of high school. Words like "concurrent education" and "college credit" and "accelerated program" never even entered my mind when I was sixteen. In fact, getting an associates degree while enrolled in high school was unheard of in my day. Already Hailey has decided on a career, enrolled at Weber State, and is planning on EMT and CNA certifications so she can work while waiting to get accepted to a Radiology Program.

All the while Hailey is still having fun. She gets to drive the 2003 BMW to school and therefore has total freedom to be wherever she wants. When I'm curious, which is often, I locate her phone on google maps and she is always where she is supposed to be. Wow.




The very best news is that she doesn't have a boyfriend!  But she still goes to dances with her buddies and hangs out and plays co-ed soccer year round. I couldn't be happier. 


















Still, the most valuable thing I could ask for is that she is reliable and conscientious and I never have to worry about her. She helps me with Tanner and I know that he is safe in her care.






Monday, January 4, 2016

Serious Money



So it's been 14 years since Tanner's last dental check-up. And it's not because I'm neglectful. It's because Tanner has become big and strong like a bear and I wasn't quite sure which dentist would be willing to loose a couple of fingers. So I googled "autism dentist" and found a brave soul who understood the challenge. Of course we all knew that Tanner would have to be seriously sedated at a serious hospital but the silly dentist wanted to "just have a look" in his office first. I'm still not sure if the visit was a success. As soon as Tanner realized he was cornered he summoned crazy animal strength and threw us off him as if we were mere flies. The dentist didn't even get his little mirror in there. Like a pro, I drug Tanner out of the office while the office lady shouted "we'll call you!" Right.

But true to her word, the office set up an operating room time at the children's hospital and coordinated with our ENT to roto rooter Tanner's ears at the same time. So Tanner went to the serious hospital to be seriously anesthetized for a simple cleaning and 2 minor cavities. When we saw him in the recovery room he looked like an adult. His big hairy body was sprawled out and he wasn't as cute as the other little darlings in the beds next to him. I guess in another 14 yrs, when I get his teeth done again, I will have to take him to the big boy hospital.



Operating room charge, Recovery charge, Hospital charge, Anesthesia charge, Dentist charge,
medications and equipment.......$7,000!