Tanner's EEG
When Tanner was just a little bun in the oven, I went through the usual prenatal testing. Well, one of the blood tests came back abnormal. My Alpha Fetal Protein count was high. After a little research I came to find out that my baby had an increased risk of neural tube defects (spina bifida, hydrocephalus) and a host of other neurologic risks. It was advised that I go to a prenatal center to get a specialized ultrasound and genetic counseling.
During the genetic session, the counselor compiled my information, explained some things and then asked if I wanted to terminate the pregnancy. Stunned, I said I would have to think about it; after all, my opinion on this matter had never been contemplated.
It was my understanding that the blood test indicated "risk" not actual disease. How could the clinic suggest termination without evidence of an abnormality? It took me about 1 minute to realize there was no way I could just end my pregnancy.
Four months later, Tanner was born and he was beautiful. But then, when he was around 4 months old, he started missing his milestones. He missed them all. Month after month, year after year, Tanner grew but his mind did not. He became difficult, exasperating and all-consuming yet there was something about him that made me love him. He is so innocent and honest and sweet. After all these years I love how warm and soft he is. I love his laugh and his mischievousness. I love him because he loves me. I love him because he makes me a better person.
And to think I was given a chance to make my life easier.....what a tragedy that would have been!
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