Tanner's EEGWhen Tanner was just a little bun in the oven, I went through the usual prenatal testing. Well, one of the blood tests came back abnormal. My Alpha Fetal Protein count was high. After a little research I came to find out that my baby had an increased risk of neural tube defects (spina bifida, hydrocephalus) and a host of other neurologic risks. It was advised that I go to a prenatal center to get a specialized ultrasound and genetic counseling.
During the genetic session, the counselor compiled my information, explained some things and then asked if I wanted to terminate the pregnancy. Stunned, I said I would have to think about it; after all, my opinion on this matter had never been contemplated.
It was my understanding that the blood test indicated "risk" not actual disease. How could the clinic suggest termination without evidence of an abnormality? It took me about 1 minute to realize there was no way I could just end my pregnancy.
Four months later, Tanner was born and he was beautiful. But then, when he was around 4 months old, he started missing his milestones. He missed them all. Month after month, year after year, Tanner grew but his mind did not. He became difficult, exasperating and all-consuming yet there was something about him that made me love him. He is so innocent and honest and sweet. After all these years I love how warm and soft he is. I love his laugh and his mischievousness. I love him because he loves me. I love him because he makes me a better person.
And to think I was given a chance to make my life easier.....what a tragedy that would have been!
<
4 comments:
Wendy, This post just sent chills down my spine. I needed that reminder of how important my children are to me and how much I love them and all their faults... I would not trade them for the world. I know I can no way compare my life with yours but all the times I think these kids are driving me crazy they take alot of my time I am so grateful they are here. Thank You
That picture of Tanner sleeping on the table makes me want to pick him up and squeeze him. There is definitely something about Tanner that makes everyone love him. Maybe it's his hyper extension when he walks, or his high pitched squeals of excitement, his eating habits, his amusement of certain words, or his wonderful giggles and genuine hugs. There is just something about him . . .
When Tanner grabs my hand for a walk upstairs or outside, my heart warms. It's true his frustrations at not being able to express his wants, is trying. But then he's grinning and happy doing something he likes. Tanner has brought much to our family.
Wendy,
What a cool post. Tanner rules! I'm so glad he is part of our family, it is nice to have him around to teach us the importance of just being a kid and doing what you want sometimes. And there is the added benefit of watching him mess with Dave.
He is such an intelligent little man, no doubt he hates the oppressive tax system implemented upon us by liberals and given the chance would vote Republican!!!
--Jason
Post a Comment