I Have Three Children

Every once in a while I will work three nights in a row; which
means that I leave home at 3:00 pm and get home at 1:00 am.
I don't see the kids for three days. I must entrust the household
to my 51 year old babysitter, the eldest of my children.
While at work I check in with this babysitter at various intervals.

"What did you feed the kids for dinner?" I'll say.

"uhh, pancakes?" Dave replies.

"Did Tanner get a bath?" I'll say.

"Was I supposed to? You didn't tell me to, how am I
supposed to know?" Dave replies.

"Well, I haven't seen him in three days and he doesn't bathe
himself. I assume that since you take a shower daily that
you would know that Tanner also needs to be clean." I reply.

"uhhh, I guess." says my brilliant babysitter.

I think I'm paying him to much!!

Mashed Potatoes

The annual Hosenfeld ski day has to be planned well in
advance, that's the only way we can get sixteen people
in the same place at the same time. So if we set a date
two months in advance we never know what the ski
conditions will be like. Usually April skiing has been
pretty good. Not this time.

I'm just happy to be going more than 20 miles per hour...sticky
sticky snow.


Hailey's waiting for me to pull her down the mountain


Ever ski in a big pile of mashed potatoes? It's very tiring.


Despite the mush we had a good time together. Twenty four hours
later it snowed two beautiful feet of fresh powder. darn

Close Encounters of the Embarrassing Kind

While in the midst of researching our next trip I can't help but
think of all the times Dave has gotten into trouble while on
vacation. It seems that everywhere we go, he has an "embar-
rassing incident. And of course I feel the need to share.....

While in New Orleans.... Oh no, he didn't


While in Alaska he fell into a glacier water pond. And yes, took a
picture of the cold spot he was in. And since we were on a glacier
climbing expedition Dave had to hike around for another two hours
in sopping clothes. Our guide almost had a heart attack.


Then in China he had an authentic Chinese massage...very close.
He said it moved. Ok, his masseuse was much younger and
prettier than this lady!


In Costa Rica Dave ran smack into the glass doors of our hotel
room because I had closed them. Nothing broke, not even his
nose.


Dave's most favorite embarrassing moment was definitely the time
we took Tanner to Mexico on the plane. As he was guiding Tanner
down the isle in search of a seat, Tanner reached out and snapped
the pink thong underwear of the girl in front of him. She spun
around and luckily understood that it was the kid who did it and
not the terrified man behind him.

I could go on and on: like when Dave and I were staying with
grandma and grandpa Holt and for some reason Dave forgot
that he wasn't in his own home. He walked from the bathroom
to the bedroom stark naked and got caught by grandma. I didn't
get a picture of that one.

Stay tuned for more...

They're Strange But I Love 'Em

The boy has a drinking problem!


The boy also has a sleeping problem and won't wear pants!



The girl has an eating problem; only likes sesame chicken. All else is
gross!
I can't make sesame chicken for every meal or else the Man (Dave)
will object! What's a mom to do?

In Training

In my neighborhood it is cool to display your road biking
accomplishments on the back of your SUV. Of course, there's
nothing more prestigious than completing the LOTOJA bike
race. Anyone who's anyone has biked from Logan to Jackson
(206 grueling miles), the worlds longest single day road cycling
race. Well, I found an even better race.

Has anyone heard of the LAYTOKAY? It's short for Layton
to Kaysville, a grueling 1 mile stretch of flat land. I'm getting
ready!

There's a Ghost in My House!

Every morning when I wake up I'm never quite sure where
Tanner will be. Sometimes I'll have to drag him out of his bed.
Sometimes he will be quietly watching CNN or the stock exchange
ticker tape. This time I was a bit surprised.

There he is....fast asleep

What Is That?

Every door in this house has toothpicks stuck in the door casing.
Does a toothpick ward off evil spirits? Does it bring good luck to
the inhabitants? Do the toothpicks cast a powerful spell on whom-
ever shall enter?

No. We are not a superstitious family. We do, however, have a
sneaky little goblin living here who enjoys wreaking havoc
wherever he goes. Therefore every door is locked or chained or
blocked in some way. So if I need to fold laundry I take the
toothpick out of the door jamb and unlock the door. If I want
to go into my room I take the toothpick out of the door jamb
and unlock the door. If I want to use the restroom I take the
toothpick out of the door jamb and unlock the door. Get the point?


The fridge is locked

The cupboards are locked


Any door leading to the outside world is chained. Welcome to my world.