My Breakdown

I have been anticipating a breakdown for many years now. I have never had one but I know of some people who have, even in my own family. I guess it was just a matter of time before I ended up at the side of a road thinking about death......So there I was, on I-15 southbound, driving at a swift clip in the fast lane as always. Then I lost power, the RPM's flatlined and I had to guide my vehicle across three lanes of traffic to the shoulder. Except I was approaching a small incline in the highway and my momentum petered out. I found myself perched on an overpass, cement barrier on one side and eighteen wheelers from hell on the drivers side. There was an unending line of semi trucks, cement trucks, dump trucks, fuel trucks, all speeding within feet of my sardine can. As each behemoth invaded my safety bubble my whole car felt as if it would take flight and flip over the cement barrier. This is about the time I began thinking about death. Really it would take but a small distraction in the driver of a truck and I wouldn't feel a thing. I kept my eye on my rearview mirror guaging the trajectories of the oncoming vehicles. Just when I started to sort out an escape plan a police officer pulled up behind me. He walked up to my passenger window and told me that I sure chose a dangerous place to park. ha ha. Next he pushed me out of harm's way using the bumper of his patrol car.
After having my life flash before my eyes about 60 times I firmly decided to replace my beloved and aged BMW for a more "mature" vehicle. Two days later my master negotiator (Dave) and a car salesman went to battle over the purchase price of my new and lovely Lexus sedan. Hopefully I won't have a breakdown for another ten years. Mental breakdown? no guarantees

Sibs and Friends

Lately I have been thinking, really thinking. Usually I try not to go especially deep with my thoughts  regarding the past or the future because, frankly, both make me anxious. I don't have a handle on either one. Still I find myself examining the relationships I have with people; now, then and in the future. I notice that I am a finicky friend and tend to play it safe when conversations turn personal. I am a listening friend, not a sharing friend. Therefore friendships for me are superficial and fun. They come and go. Sibling relationships, however, are perpetual through thick and thin. I don't have to constantly maintain my alliances with each of my five sibs to know that they will always be there if I but reach out for them. The difference between mere friendships and strong sibships is that if I neglect a friendship it becomes unreliable and cool.Yet if I overlook my family for a time I know that they will still be there when I am ready to share a burden. The greatest aspect of having a big family is that each of us have a distinctive gift to give each other. Depending on our individual struggles there is always one of six who can be sympathetic to that particular obstacle. So, as a whole, my family offers solutions like a rainbow offers colors. I may not share everything with everyone but at least one of these colors are utilized depending on the flavor of my dilemma.

I have known my siblings all my life and each one of them is more valuable than any friend I could ever have.

Glamorous Park City

    The Beautiful People have arrived in Park City for the prestigious Sundance Film Festival. You can just feel the the gravity of the Big Hollywood hitters as they make their appearances around town. Red carpets, photo shoots, black limo's, exclusive parties. Oh the fame! And to think that I am a part of it all.
It feels so good to be so close to all that...whatever it is.
    Maybe if I scrub enough toilets and make enough beds my dad will let me go to the ball! But no, I would rather stay at the humble Chateau Apres and clean rooms than stand in line for a crappy film or go gaga over an anemic starlet. I'm pretty happy staying off Main Street this time of year.

Unexpected

Remember four weeks ago when Tanner actually needed medical intervention? When he split his scalp open after a particularly effective head-banging episode?  I took him to the Emergency Room because he had a laceration which I couldn't ignore (actually two nice, deep, bloody wounds to his noggin). We spent three long hours in a little room before anybody even touched him. Then after several "I'll be right back" statements from the ER doctor, four fresh and young medical people entered the room, burrito wrapped Tanner, and then a wide-eyed medical resident put six staples in Tanner's scalp; effectively sealing the wounds. Well, I didn't actually expect them to "probe" the wounds since the boy is, at his best, uncooperative. I asked if I could remove the staples myself, after a week, since I am a brave medical person myself and they let me leave with the handy staple remover gadget.

One week later I dutifully removed one staple at a time over the course of a couple of days (it was hard to get a good grip on a moving target). Curiously, there was still a rather large lump in one of Tanner's lacerations. I figured it was just healing tissue. Two weeks later there was something hard but small at the edge of the healed scar. I would push on it tenderly as Tanner laid on my lap as he went off to sleep. Soon I figured I would pick at him a little with tweezers or another pokey instrument but I could never get a good enough grip on whatever the "hard" thing was. Dave was curious as well and picked at the boy's head for over a week. Finally, a month after staples, Dave pulled out a sizable piece of chunky, hard plastic buried inside Tanner's scalp. The foreign object was obviously from some toy and not from the wall which I originally thought to be the culprit of the original injury. I am still at a loss as to where the orange piece of plastic came from.

Come Back

I am in mourning. My delightful, creative and friendly daughter has been taken over by a surly teenage alien. I look at this alien being and try to glimpse the little girl who loved to laugh and share her thoughts. As I try to communicate with it I feel like we don't even speak the same language. It seems distracted by electronic devices. It acts as if it has no time to talk. It stays in it's room for long periods of time. All I want is my goofy daughter back. Other parents who have also hosted teenage aliens tell me that it takes a couple of years before they recognize their charming children again. All I know is that I miss her.

The Birthday Dilemma

Celebrating Tanner's birthday always puts me in a predicament. I agree that "the more the merrier" makes for a fun party. I love to get the whole family together for birthday celebrations and holidays. I love the noise and the chaos and the laughter. Except, Tanner goes bonkers when he has to share his house with others. The solution has always been, and continues to be, a pre-emptive sedation cocktail administered to Tanner in preparation for the ensuing "intrusion". I give him a soothing mixture of mild tranquilizers so that he doesn't have a nuclear melt down during the festivities. A dilemma arises however when the boy is too sleepy to participate in his own birthday party. Of course we all agree that Tanner is easier to handle when he is asleep but it would be nice if he could acknowledge the birthday cake and gifts which are are arranged around him ready to be opened and enjoyed. Luckily we all have a good laugh at the fact that he sleeps through his special day every year.

This year, in addition to the family hullabaloo, we tried a very quiet and private "Tanner Only" birthday event where he could sit on his exclusive couch and watch his own show just the way he wanted it. So, while fully awake and barely able to pull his eyes from the TV screen, he opened a gift and stuck his finger in his own private birthday donut. After all, Tanner doesn't even know the significance of celebrating one more year. But that doesn't mean that I can't celebrate it for him by having a party
on his behalf.

Bloody Sunday

     Well, he did it this time! Tanner managed to get himself taken to the hospital. What started out to be a typical conniption fit turned into something a little more grisly. As is customary, Tanner was dragged into his room as punishment after he pitched his sister's i-pod for no good reason. Then he started head banging, which is also typical. I went about my women's work and waited out the storm. After the book throwing and head thumping stopped I checked in on him. What I saw was a kid sitting on the carpet passively turning pages of a picture book. But I did a double take because the kid was all bloody. He looked up at me, pointed to his head and then to the blood splattered on the wall. For the most part scalp wounds look worse than they really are because of the vasculature of the tissue, ie. the head bleeds like the dickens, so I didn't panic. What I saw however, was a pretty sizable laceration which I couldn't fix by ignoring it. So I got him into the tub and cleaned him up. By this time Tanner was feeling playful and just wanted to splash around as if nothing had happened to his head. I cut bath time short by telling him we were going to go for a ride in the car. Yipppee!
     Once at the emergency room Tanner was in his own private heaven because he got to watch TV while laying down on a bed (which is totally cool!). For almost three hours we flipped through channels, turned on the oxygen, turned off the lights, pushed every button in the room. It was super fun! Different people came in and out but didn't do anything to him so he thought he was King for a day. Finally at the three hour mark a bunch of people came in, wrapped him up like a burrito, held him down and put six staples in his head. It took less than five minutes. I was seriously considering swiping a staple gun so that I could do it myself the next time.
     Tanner laughed all the way home. And I again seriously fantacized about obtaining a staple gun and some iodine and some staple removers and some numbing medicine and......

just a flesh wound!

cool hospital bed




two lacerations and six staples