The Full Moon And My Finger

It started out as a typical Tuesday afternoon. I was the loving, wonderful mother, dropping everything to please my typical teenage daughter. I sat in the passenger seat as Hailey drove around Kaysville, testing her driving skills. Then I cooked her favorite dinner. Then I sat on the couch and watched her favorite TV show with her. Peace reigned, we were contentedly spending time together, all was well.

Then something happened. The moon reached it's zenith of fullness and Hailey and I turned into a couple of crazy people. We began "fighting" over the remote control. I wanted to watch "my" show, she wanted to watch "her" show. Then I began chasing her through the house. She headed toward her room and I was right behind her as she slammed her bedroom door. Except part of me was in the way of the door, yet the solid wood door closed nonetheless. Then I felt a strange numbness in my finger and I yelped like a dog.

I didn't want to look at it.  I knew it was bad due to the lack of pain. So I looked at it. The top of my middle finger looked fine until I touched it and saw the flesh move unnaturally. It was bad, I could see bone. I forced Hailey to "LOOK AT IT"!!! That was her first punishment.

I drove myself to the ER, all the while my finger throbbed like a big, bloody blob of alien flesh. The physician looked at it and congratulated me on a job well done. Then he pried my precious fingernail out of it's nail bed and put it in a cup. Next as he tried to find salvageable flesh to sew he used the phrase "this is pretty pulverized", which made me feel great (not really). After watching the curved suture needle go in and out of my finger I was surprised when the doctor started re-seating my dead fingernail. Apparently my old nail will protect my wound for the next two weeks and then I can pull it off again. And for the next year a brand new, delicate nail will grow.

So now I am disabled. I can't grip, I can't dig, I can't write. And best/worst of all I can't take care of Tanner. Now for Hailey's true punishment for slamming my finger in her door.....SHE has to change and bathe and help her brother. Ha! Finally! I think I will continue to fake my intense pain for at least a month so that she can become proficient at her new job. Guilt is the best manipulator.