Tuesday, September 24, 2013

The Doom Of His Room

I remember fixing up Tanner's room not so long ago. I wanted it to be less like a junkyard and more like a bedroom. His mattress and box spring had been flattened into a misshapen mass due to the laws of gravity, ie. a 120 lb body jumping up will come down with the force of a pile driver. The sheet rock walls had been wounded so many times that they were rippling with patches. So in a hopeful state of mind I resolved to make Tanner's room "cute". The new headboard I got for him quickly became checkered with dents and divets. The ruination continued as his new TV stand was defaced with scratches and it's drawers flung about following Tanner's ritualized destruction pattern. Next came the demise of the new mattress set which slowly became an unrecognizable lump. One night I looked in on Tanner and noticed that his bed was more concave than ever. Perplexed, I removed the entire mattress and saw that he had completely splintered the bottom of his new bed.


 So now the only furniture in Tanner's room is an indestructible metal folding chair, and a cheap TV. Not so cute now!



Monday, September 16, 2013

A Church Parking Lot On Every Corner


Church parking lots not only provide acres and acres of parking spaces for minivans and suburbans on Sunday mornings but they also are an ideal place to take a 14 yr old driving when church is over. There is nothing but open asphalt and yellow lines, a wasteland of safety.



video below

Monday, September 9, 2013

Our Home Gym



Tanner has invented a new way to keep fit while at home. His routine is a little unusual but has proven to be very effective for him. He has lost two of his four belly rolls this summer and is looking like a contender. His cardio routine involves constant "back & forth" motion, slapping the wall or counter top in between reps. He also manages to fit in a few vertical jumps for muscle conditioning. Then for his abdomen work-out he has found "the couch" method very dynamic (if not destructive). To enhance his regimen he listens to the "Angry Birds" soundtrack which is very motivating (if not maniacal).

                                                         SEE VIDEO BELOW