Family and Funerals

 We knew she was dying. We knew he would grieve tremendously. The last month with them together was an experience I will never forget.


Grandma didn't want hospice care, she wanted family. And family is exactly what she got. Family was with her even after her spirit left her body. We cared for her by taking turns, two siblings at a time, keeping watch over her, talking to her, remembering with her. My time with my grandma was peaceful because she was ready.
Seeing my Grandpa leaning over her bed broke my heart. The way he held her hand, the way he talked to her (how he has always treated her) was the most difficult, emotionally wrenching thing I've witnessed so far in my life. He will be so lost without his true love.



I was fortunate enough to say a few things at the funeral.I hope I honored her enough.

For the most part this solemn occasion brought me enough joy that I won't think of grandma's funeral as an episode of despair. This event brought family together from all over the country. Cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews whom I haven't seen in a long, long time, greeted me with warmth and affection. Death isn't always tragic, this time it was healing.

As I wrote my thoughts about my grandma the words flowed freely:

"She died on a Saturday morning, my grandma, my role model. Helen Holt, my grandma taught me how to love life. Her love for life was so full and contagious and exciting. She bubbled over with enthusiasm every time we were together. It was as if her only goal was to have fun. Visits with grandma were never obligatory, they were greatly anticipated.

I remember my childhood summers as epic adventures. Mineral King trips were legendary, the jewel of my early memories. Imagine Ken and Helen, my grandparents; imagine the feat, the responsibility of taking ten or so grandchildren deep into the beautiful mountains of the Sierras. They loved us so much that they took us there year after year after year.

As children, grandma set us free. For two weeks we were surrounded by a spirit of love and affection and perfect acceptance. I remember fishing shoulder to shoulder with my cousins, grandpa constantly untangling our lines, grandma along side us teaching us how to cast. I remember the secret fishing holes, the huge redwood trees, the cabin. I remember the anticipation of seeing Sawtooth Peak, of climbing around the huge boulders in search of bears. Those were some of the most happiest, most innocent memories of my life. I believe these memories are so exquisite to this day simply because when I was with her I felt loved, I felt safe and I felt important.

Even as I grew into my teens grandma was a key figure in my self acceptance. To my delight she was playfully rebellious. She bought me my first bikini and had my ears pierced when I was much to young, to the chagrin of my mother. She took me shopping for school clothes and when I couldn't decide between two outfits, she would declare, "just get them both". I never felt that grandma was obligated to me because I was her granddaughter. All I ever felt was pure joy on her part and pure trust on mine.

I lost her some years ago, when I lost myself (as most selfish people do). I lost her to my own personal trivialities (my career,my busy life, my stuff) When stupid things in life overshadow the importance of family ties it is truly a tragedy. I found her once again as she was dying. At that time my insignificant self pity gave way to the thoughts and accomplishments of a most extraordinary woman.

DEATH PICKS UP EACH GOOD SOUL AND KISSES IT
DEATH LISTENS TO YOUR LAST BREATH, WATCHES YOUR VISIONS OF LOVED ONES
---AND DEATH FREES YOU FROM FEAR
LASTLY GOD BLESSES AND KEEPS YOU

I LOVE YOU GRANDMA

Tanner's Makeover

For years Tanner's bedroom has been in a state of constant construction. It has never been entirely completed. In one corner of his room there has always been a collection of mending supplies: sheet rock mud, trowels, sandpaper, a paint tray and roller. Every few days Dave patches a dent or a hole. Tanner's head goes through sheet rock like a hot knife through butter. 





patching, sanding and painting got frustrating

We found a solution to an endless job: MDF
FIBERBOARD!~ denser than sheet rock, denser than plywood, denser than particle board. In other words, harder than Tanner's head.

Dave got right to work veneering Tanner's walls with this "cement-like" board. He embellished the panels with a crown molding, made a protective cage around the glass window and bolted the bookcase to the wall. Now Tanner has a safe and good looking space of his own.

 

Tanner's head has met it's match. So far, no dents in the walls but there has been an unintended consequence.....

 

Don't worry! He will learn that he can bully the walls no longer.

Wild and Crazy Ericksons

When I throw a party at my house I hope to provide an enjoyable atmosphere with plenty of flavorsome food for all. However, it seems that I am insufficient in the entertainment department.

I happen to be accumulating an assortment of military bugle calls
which will keep you all sharp.Next time be prepared for a smart
assemblage of Ruffles and Flourishes.
Curtis, bring your trumpet!

Girl's Night Out

Every Thursday night is Date Night or as I like to call it "get away from Tanner" night. Sometimes I need a "get away from Tanner AND Dave" night. Hailey understands exactly what I mean...sometimes girls just need some quiet conversation without Dad asking dumb questions.Thirteen year old girls have a lot to talk about and I, as a mom, want to hear it ALL. I want to talk about cute boys and mean girls and terrible teachers and fun friends and...boobs. Before long Hailey will be past this phase of her life and on to another chapter where my advise may not be so welcomed.


 

 Mother/Daughter Mani/Pedi (that's girl talk for "getting our nails done")

   

Next stop: Olive Garden (duh, where else) where we can chat some more over pasta.

Tanner's Simple Summer

SUMMER 2012

Some people think that in order to have a good summer you have to go on a vacation. For Tanner, summer is all about staying close to home. There is nothing more euphoric to him than familiarity. So even the simple things in life are joyful.


What kid doesn't like playing in the sprinklers, especially
when the water sprays right up your nose. Whenever I
move the hose into a more "comfortable" position Tanner
immediately pulls the nozzle right into his lap.


Tanner loves his music up close and personal....and loud.
Try listening to Tchaikovsky. He rocks!

Lazy days in the hammock aren't always relaxing, especially
when Hailey swings Tanner with the sole purpose of making
him turn a shade of green.

Kids LOVE sticks! waving the stick...raising the stick...swishing
the stick....

And best of all, Tanner loves to pretend that he is a two year old.
When my back is turned he thoroughly enjoys emptying the
cupboard. The feeling of scattering croutons across the floor
and observing the chocolate dust created by powdered
chocolate milk....priceless

Guess what PURE HEAVEN feels like: sitting in a pile of DVD's
after a satisfying meal.

Southern California Welcomes Us Once Again

I love it when the whole family travels together. It is always a lesson in patience, communication and leadership skills. I would like to think that out of 20 of us SOMEBODY has the ability to round us all up and point us in the right direction within a reasonable time frame. Instead we do a lot of standing around. We stand around waiting for someone to speak up. Eventually Dave can't take it anymore and tells us all what HE is going to do. Then we all follow after him. We always find out that Dave has terrific ideas.The Angels game was a great "Dave" idea!

Strand Beach was a great idea also. As a bonus the boys got a lesson
from Dave in how to effectively boogie board. Wise words from the
master.


This is how you gracefully beach yourself after a monster wave:

A Gift For Four Generations

My Extraordinary Grandparents

At least once a year our whole Utah family of 20+ travels to
California to visit our grandparents. These trips have always
sparked fond memories of our childhood summers. Grandpa
would remind us of our adventures in the Sierra Mountains,
Grandma would laugh about our exploits at the beach. Even
better were the stories they would tell us of their own amazing
undertakings. Their epic tales of adventure always kept us
enthralled:
Treks through the Amazon, White water rafting the Colorado,
Flying their plane through the Grand Canyon, Landing their
plane at night on an unlit landing field in Mexico, Deep sea
fishing, Skiing the Alps, Hiking to Machu Pichu and so much
more.
However, this year's visit was bitter-sweet for us all. Perhaps
it is because we know that our 86 year old grandma will be
leaving us soon. Perhaps it is that we are nostalgic for the past.
I think we all have a sense of subdued celebration and awe for
a life well lived. My grandparent's quest for adventure has
always been a cornerstone in our memories of them. Now
those stories are coming to a close.
As four generations of women stand side by side I can't
help but feel that each one of us is extraordinary in our
own way because of our grandma and her lust for life.
Thank you Grandma, Thank you Mom, Thank you
Hailey for being a part of my life.

great grandma, grandma, mother, daughter gather at the piano.
What a gift!