What's New, Tanner?

As is usually the case, Tanner continues to create embarrassing situations for me. The most recent episode was a golden moment that I will remember forever. And so will a certain girl scout who was going door to door selling cookies....
I had just put Tanner in the bath, washed him up, gave him a big cup so that he could play in the tub, when the doorbell rang. Figuring that the boy would be content to splash around for a while I answered the door to discover a Girl Scout selling my most favorite cookies in the world. So of course I invited her into the foyer so that I could order my dozen boxes of Thin Mints. As I was writing down my contact information I saw this poor girl's eyes go very, very wide. Behind me was a very naked, very hairy Tanner walking down the hallway. I looked back at the girl and she was trying to avert her gaze from this most embarrassing situation. As Tanner came closer the girl shaded her eyes, I scribbled quickly on the order form and ushered her out. "Well at least you'll have an interesting story to tell your mom" I said apologetically.
Something tells me that I won't be receiving my cookies this year.

What's New, Hailey?

 Hailey has become a very expensive teenager during the last couple of years. Although she asks for nothing, her age group requires a lot of maintenance: straight teeth, clear skin, adequate eye sight, spending money, car insurance. I am lucky enough to have a conscientious high schooler who plays by the rules and studies hard. So the two and a half years of braces, the six months of Accutane, the new glasses and late night pick ups at her friend's houses have all been a pleasure for me.

 

 So when Hailey asked if she could dye her hair blue, I said "sure". If this is the most radical thing she does I will indeed be grateful.

Back From Hiatus, May I Introduce "The Whisker"

When I started this blog I promised myself that I would always keep it positive and humorous. For many reasons I pictured my quirky life as one long entertaining movie, full of one silly mishap after another. I believe it will always be like this.
Now to continue.... As I get ready every afternoon a soft glow of sunlight shines through the window behind me. I examine my ever aging face. I see the spots and the imperfections. I accept them. However, one afternoon the light was at such a perfect angle that it lit up a chin hair so magnificently that it glowed. I looked closer at the mirror thinking that I had a piece of glitter on my chin. But no. It was a long, thick, course, grey hair. I swear it was six inches long and curled back under my jawline, hiding like an embarrassment.
I plucked it out and it was definitely the makings of a potential beard. This made me scrutinize my upper lip. Nothing visible there, whew. Next I examined my neck and sure enough a carpet of downy hair lit up like white lint seen under a black light. Although the fine hair doesn't have the ability to become a mutton chop, I decided then and there that I am going to shave like a man.