Mission Accomplished

BEFORE: Tanner monopolized the master bedroom. The bed
was essentially his domain where he spread out like Henry VIII
after a good meal. Even though we've attempted to relocate his
slumber to other locations, he has inevitably returned, refusing
to leave.




TRANSITION: After ten years we've finally felt ready to kick Tanner
out of the bedroom completely. We locked the bedroom door. We
locked the cupboards. We locked the fridge. For all we cared, he
could roam the house all night if so inclined. In the weeks that
followed we woke up to find Tanner asleep on the couch. All lights
were on, the sink was running, the TV was blaring. BUT... he was
out of our bed!




NOW: The poor boy has finally realized that his own bed is fairly
comfortable and warm. Each night we'll still hear him rattling the
locked master bedroom door trying to return, but in the morning
Tanner will be back in his very own bed. After all these years
Tanner's room has an occupant.

Use The Fork!

We all know that Tanner's greatest pleasure is eating.
He eats with such gusto, with such wild abandonment
that it really bums him out when he's reminded to
use his fork. Lately, however, using the fork has
brought an unusual reaction.

There Goes The Neighborhood

On Halloween a hobo child camped out on my front steps.
She looked so pathetic that I gave her a piece of candy and
sent her on her way. The next thing I know she's begging
all over the neighborhood. Later, following a rain storm,
she knocked on my door again looking a little soggy and
cold. So I took her in, gave her a bath and discovered
that the hobo was actually my daughter!


Featuring Dave's new graveyard attraction...handmade
gravestones with catchy epitaphs. I had to make sure
he didn't go to political.


Dave's proudest achievement, however, is his vomiting pumpkin.